Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
