Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
