imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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