I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
