handjob tips. give me some.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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