Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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