I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
