Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
