lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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