Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
