This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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