$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
