I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
