So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
