I'm drive I can fine osifer
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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