Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Say something about gay babies.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
