I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
