I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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