No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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