If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
