is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
