We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
