would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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