You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
