Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
