The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
