we have officially lost it.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
