That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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