You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
