you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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