He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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