why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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