Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
