what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
