took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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