I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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