oh god the rape fog is back!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
