What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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