She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
