just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
