there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
