He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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