YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
