Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
