ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize