Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
