"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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