White coat. Heels.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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