i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
