I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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