Are we in a gay sports bar?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
