when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize