Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
