ya dads aren't the best wingmen
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
