Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
