Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
