Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
