yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
