"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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